Anger

Anger

Anger is a normal emotion. We all get angry from time to time. Sometimes we feel a little annoyed or ticked-off. Other times we might be really angry and full of rage and frustration.

We may experience anger in situations where we feel:

• frustrated
• powerless or not in control
• mistreated or that someone we care about has been treated unfairly
• embarrassed, shamed or humiliated
• fearful.

Anger can be very helpful in some situations and when used as a motivator. It can:

• energise and motivate you to stand up for yourself or another person
• encourage us to speak with others about how we feel and what we think about certain issues
• motivate you towards a goal and to solve problems
• help us face our fears
• help us accept major changes in our priorities, health, behaviour and lives

However, if anger gets out of control it can expand into a full-blown rage and become explosive, violent and destructive. Some signs that your anger has become a problem include:

• relationship problems at home or work
• overreacting to small issues
• family telling you that you have an anger problem
• violent or abusive behaviour
• using alcohol and drugs to manage your anger.

Over the long term, anger can also have negative effects on our wellbeing. This may include muscle tension and body aches, depression, anxiety, insomnia, high blood pressure, increased chance of developing heart disease, stroke, and an increase in the likelihood of developing stomach ulcers.

Managing anger

There are a range of different things you can try to help manage unhealthy anger. There is no one strategy that will work in every situation for everyone. Try, and practice, several approaches until you find the combination that works best for you.

Identify your triggers: What makes you angry? Write them down. Try to resolve them or practice how to better respond to them before they happen again.

Accept it’s okay to get angry sometimes: Try to express your frustrations by being honest, assertive and upfront about things that bother you.

Notice those early signs of anger: if you can, take some time out and walk away before anger escalates. Move to somewhere where you can calm down, consider what has happened and what you will do next. Also ask yourself how much will this issue matter in a week, in a month, in a year?

Identify and challenge negative thinking: Identify negative thoughts you may have. For example, they always say that, you are all against me, this is everybody else’s fault. This thinking can make you feel more angry. Learn to question and challenge this negative thinking.

Practise relaxation techniques: Muscle relaxation techniques can help relieve muscle tension which can help you feel more calm. Other strategies such as learning and practising mindfulness and meditation can also help. Doing regular exercise can help with lowering stress levels.

Work out why you were angry: If you can identify why you were angry you may be able to resolve the source of your anger. For example, you may feel angry because a person has not done something you think they should have done. When reflecting on the situation you can ask yourself whether your expectations are reasonable, do you need to think about their point of view, have you jumped to conclusions about why they didn’t do it.

Get support: If your anger is impacting on your life, or the lives of the people around you, you should discuss your concerns with someone you trust or your GP. If you are becoming violent or abusive then you need to seek professional help early to better understand how to manage your anger, and to make sure you and others are safe.

Listen to (or read the transcript) – Seeking help for the first time in a crisis (All In The Mind, ABC)

Find out more about mindfulness at Smiling Mind.

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